Tomorrow is Christmas. Excuse me but when did this happen? I don't really feel in the spirit very much. It feels like the holidays came too soon. There are two things that I'm really looking forward to tomorrow though; giving the gifts that I got for my family, and eating sticky rolls. Honestly I'm so much more excited to give my gifts than I am to receive, mostly because I'm not expecting to get anything. We already all got new phones, so we aren't doing anything else present-wise. I just wanted to get gifts for my family because of course I love them. This is the first year when I can really say that I am so much more pumped to give. Because this is the first year when I actually thought out gifts for everyone in my family and went out and bought them with my own money. It really feels good knowing that I got something perfect that each person will love and that I can bring a smile to their face. It sounds super cheesy, but I'm just so excited. Also, it has sunk in recently that experiences are way more valuable than gifts. These moments that I am having with my family and friends right now won't last forever, and I really want to embrace and appreciate them while they're here.
The best thing about this holiday season by far has been the relaxation that I have been doing and seeing family and friends. This is the last Christmas until who-knows-when that I will be spending with all of our family. Which is sad since I will miss them like crazy because I love them like crazy, but I'm just enjoying the time we have with them right now. I love spending time with the Kirby side of the family. They make me so extremely happy and I don't know where I'd be without them.

This post is so cheesy it's not even funny. But you see what I'm sayin.

Other things:
Just finished the season of Amazing Race. I was so upset when Adam and Bethany didn't win. I love them so much.

I absolutely love the way God created people. No two people are exactly the same; each individual has their own strengths, talents, and flaws. Why do we need to criticize people's flaws when God made them to be just how he wanted? A person is not defined only by what they do well or what they don't do well. A person is defined as everything that they are: their talents, their struggles, their experiences, their attitudes. And sometimes a person's limitation in one area can lead them to excel in another area. I love how there is something good to be found in every person, although it can't always be seen or even the person hasn't found it. I think that it is important to not judge people for where they are in their lives because I believe that people do change. I know I have changed a ton, just in the past couple of years, and it's not fair to judge anyone for the way that they were. It's not fair to judge anyone at all, because you can never know what kind of battles that person is fighting that you can't see. We should only praise God for people's strong qualities, and not criticize them for not having every perfect quality. Because really no one does. And if everyone was good at everything, no one would be amazing at anything.
I'm sorry this was all over the place but I felt the need to express my thoughts. I love the complexity of human lives so much. And the fact that there have been around 108 billion unique individuals on this earth is remarkable to me.
God is truly amazing.

There's this thing with words. You can't take them back. Of course you can apologize and make excuses for what you've said, but once those words have been spoken, the listener most likely has them in the back of their mind, at least for a while. And the thing with words that I have realized lately is that they are extremely damaging. Don't let anyone ever tell you that "sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never hurt you," because this couldn't be further than the truth. Words hurt. Even a small critique, if it is about something that you are proud of or you are already self-conscious about, can make the biggest difference in your attitude. And when these harsh words are constantly thrown at you, it beats your soul down with a hammer.
So this is a reminder to be careful of what you say. I know that I need to be reminded of this more often than I'd care to admit. Because sometimes, so amount of apologizing can heal wounds to the soul. You never know what each person you come in to contact with is going through, and sometimes even small things can push them to the edge.
So I'm sorry. Even though I know it may not make a difference. To anyone who I have damaged with my careless words, I am deeply sorry.

I have no plan for this post. I just need to talk. I am so happy this week is done with. Honestly this has been the worst week of the year. But it's over! YAY! My brain hasn't been this strained since like... finals last year. Which actually makes me really happy because it means that for one whole semester school has been going great. And really it has. This has been the best year so far, academically and socially. I'm not surprised, actually, because it seems that I always really start enjoying things once they are about to finish. But anyways, it has been a fun semester. And I only have one day of school which should be pretty easy, then a couple of two-hour finals, then I'm FREEEEEE. Sort of . For two and a half weeks anyways. And those weeks will be full of work. Dad is leaving a few days after Christmas, and mom is driving down with him to help explore the new town and keep him company and such. Also, we are planning to list our house right after break which means we have a few more cleaning and fixing-up things to do. Yippee. Also, I can't believe that it's December 12. This year has gone by so fast. And I'm not in the Christmas spirit which is really sad. We aren't putting up decorations this year, and I want to feel in the spirit, but I'm really not at all. I don't even have a desire to listen to Christmas music. Is there something wrong with me?
Oh, new thought: I feel like I'm becoming more extroverted. I don't really ever want or need to spend time alone. Even if I am just on my computer or doing homework, I want to be out in house around my family. I am comfortable being alone, but I'm comfortable with others too. I like it.
I just keep thinking of stuff to talk about. Goodness I shouldn't go so long without writing. Anyways... movies. Lately I've noticed that I don't really like movies as much as I used to. I like the emotional ones, and I'm not really sure why, maybe just because I love seeing other people's lives and emotions and struggles and stuff. But I don't like most comedy ones, especially the ones high- schoolers like. I think they are for the most part really dumb and not funny at all. I'm critical of a lot of them (movies in general), about anything from their special effects, dialog, story line, characters, and acting. Right now we are watching Gatsby in English and I am really disappointed. After hearing so many good things about it, I expected more. I really just don't like anything about it. I could go into more detail but that would take forever. My favorite ones though are ones that make me think and ones that help me to see that there is more to this life than just me. Ones that aren't trying too hard but just have a lot of thought and care put into them. And Disney movies of course. You can't ever go wrong with a Disney movie. Or a book. Books>Movies
Aaaandd yet another topic: driving. I love driving. So much. I feel so free and independent when I can just go places without having to call someone and wait for them to pick me up or take me somewhere. I can go places with my friends, stay later for stuff, and enjoy a peaceful ride home while I listen to one of my four gorgeous Taylor Swift CD's.
More stuffs:
God is amazing.
Jesus is super sassy.
Mom's homemade toffee is really good.
I finally got some super cute boots.
Learning and knowing stuff is awesome.
I can't stop listening to Taylor Swift's album

Sorry this turned into an essay. Thanks to anyone who read it all.

Now, for a longer post about my week last week... Tuesday... Something exciting (ish) happened. And I'll share more later -if there is even anything to share- but for now it is a surprise. Wednesday Crey and I had an after school treat with Gramma again. This time it was at Peachwave, and Gramma absolutely loved it. Thursday I babysat. Four kids who are super adorable even though they get crazy at times. Friday I went to dinner and shopped with Kate, Noor, Jenna, and Leen. They are seriously some of my favs and it's so fun being with them. Ooh and I forgot to mention that on Tuesday I drove by myself!! And I didn't die!! Yay!! I also drove people around on Friday night, which was really awesome and made me feel like a true teenager. Finally. After 4 years of being one I finally feel like one. Saturday morn I was up bright and early at 6:30 to babysit the same people. The rest of the weekend was basically filled with working, cleaning, organizing, homework, going through stuff, and more. And for my previous post, I have two days until break. And I can't wait. Sadly, I have a test Tuesday and a project due and a quiz but still. Yay. 

2 more days. I can make it. 

I've had a very weird feeling lately... I can't really imagine me leaving Wichita, or starting at a new school, or going to college, or anything else, and then it makes me feel like something life-changing or drastic is going to happen before then. Or that I'll get in an accident or something. I don't really know why I feel like this, because I never have before. And if I have, I've only thought about it once or twice, not constantly.

I'm not like super worried about it, but it's like it's sitting in my body, nagging me.

The fact that I don't really know why I'm having this feeling all the sudden scares me more than the feeling itself I think...

maybe I just need to stop worrying and live in the present. I don't know.

Hallelujah for four day weekends.
We have conferences/ dinner theater this week, so today and Friday I have off. Thank goodness. This break was much needed. I have a lot to do, but today was just a chill day. This morning I had to wake up early, much to my sadness, and go to school with mom and Crey so that mom could take me to my ortho appointment. That ended up taking way longer than expected, but we got a lot done and are basically ready to start braces. Next Tuesday. Oh joy. Then after that Gramma Clark picked me up for birthday lunch at Logans, with a follow-up dessert trip to DQ. Then I came home, did dishes, had a solo dance party, watched some YouTube, relaxed. etc. In a few minutes Kathrine should be here to pick me up and we will go and hang out or drive around or something.. I'm not really sure what we're doing. Then at 6:30 I have to go work crew for Thoroughly Modern Millie. Busy day, but very fun.

I was going to say something else I think but I don't remember what it was.

These posts are very roughly typed and in no way reflect my most wonderful pieces of writing... Oh well. They're just for memory anyways I suppose...

In other news...
Taylor Swift's album is amazing
It got really really cold
I have insurance now so I can actually drive

 

The first three pictures are from my actual birth day. Top one is the group at Panera, next is Shreeya and I right after she picked me up, third is Jenna and I at lunch that day (Jenna's lunch container was a crown so we were crown buddies:D)

And the next pictures are ones from Saturday night. I had the same people + Leen over and it was SO FUN. Honestly it was the most fun I'd had with friends in a while (even though all our times together are fun) and we all just had a really great time. The sad part is that it made me realize how hard leaving them is going to be... I always wanted this to be a great last year, but I never really thought about the fact that it being so great would make it that much harder to leave behind...
Okay. Away from the sappy stuff and on to the info. So Saturday night they all came over at dinner time, I ordered Papa Johns (from a very sassy employee), we ate it, it was delicious. Then we opened presents and they were seriously the nicest presents and cards I have ever received. Shout out to you guys if you ever read this. They were amazing. Thank you. Then we played a bit of Apples to Apples, and then we decided to go on an adventure, so we went to the pond/ park area behind my house. We were loud. It was awesome. We attempted to take cool pictures. It was pitch black outside. It failed. But it was still really fun and funny, and some pictures are below. Then we came back, ate brownies and ice cream, had a dance party, and then everyone had to leave.
I can't even express how fun it was and how amazing and kind and funny and caring and fun and wonderful my friends are. I am so blessed to have them in my life. <3

Jenna, Shreeya, and I on the swings.

Me, Kathrine, Kate, Jenna, and Noor attempting to take pictures in the dark...

All of us hanging out at the house. (Kathrine, me, Shreeya, Jenna, Leen, Kate, Noor)

Well I sorta forgot to start my highlights this week. Anywhoo, yesterday was my birthday! I am officially 17 and can no longer sing the song from Sound of Music :(
Ahh well it was a great day so that makes up for it. Shreeya, Noor, Kathrine, Kate, and Jenna all met at Panera and we ate breakfast together before school. Shreeya brought me a birthday tiara and sash and I've gotta say I looked pretttty fantastic. Other than that, I got tons of birthday wishes and GUESS WHAT?! MOM AND DAD ARE GETTING ME THE HARRY POTTER BOXED SET HARDCOVER BOOKS!! AHHH. So pumped to get those and keep rereading them. Also tomorrow Dad and I are probably going to get my driver's license :) yayyyy.
This birthday seems different though. You know how most birthdays you never really feel that age until a few months in? Well I feel 17. I don't know why. And I feel sorta as if this is going to be a really good year. Again, no clue why. But hopefully it will be really good. It's definitely going to be an adventure.
I don't think I have anything else to say for now.
Oh, just kidding- they have already started playing Christmas music. Like what in the world. I heard it this morning and after staring at the radio for a few minutes with my jaw hanging open I switched the station. It is way too early.

Welcome

Hola! And welcome to my humble virtual abode.
Currently this blog looks... well not so spiffy. Wow. That word looks a lot weirder in writing. Okay. Anyways, right now this is a private blog. I don't know why, but it just feels good to put my thoughts somewhere, even if no one is reading them yet. Yay thoughts.
So rewind a few weeks. Dad just got news that he was going to lose his job on December 30, buuut he could apply for other jobs with his same company. Still scary.
Fast-forward a few weeks (but not as many as you backtracked) and we are casually eating dinner at Cheddar's when he gives us the news. Our lives are about to change. A lot. In fact, although I can't even imagine what our lives will be like in a year, I also wonder sometimes how different our lives will end up being in Virginia as opposed to staying in Wichita. That was a terrible formulated sentence. Sorry.
Anyways, yes, Virginia. After seven months of waiting anxiously, massive amounts of stress, crying, excitement, packing, filing through things, making plans, anticipating, and wondering, we will be there. Won't these been some fun months.
Things will be very different. And it would take me too long right now to explain all the things I am worried and anxious and excited and nervous about. Mostly I'm just going to miss people. A lot of people, many of whom have made a huge impact on my life in these past 16 (almost 17!) years. And many of whom I might never see again. Because this isn't just a two year long thing. Its basically forever. And who knows where time will lead us? Maybe I will stay there, maybe I will return to Wichita, maybe I will go somewhere else. It's weird thinking about your future when you have literally no clue where it will be.
This has been a jumbled mess.
Good thing it is only for my eyes. :)

Also- about the name. Fairly obvious. Combining Virginia and Kansas. I pretty much think I'm Dorothy. And although I'm technically not Virginian yet, I wanted something creative that had to do with me leaving. Because that's the main reason I made this blog. Yay blogs. And vlogs. And technology.

Okkkayy wow. I should probably stop now. My brain is too full for this.